(Meta) Review – Lost Syllables

First off, this is a terrible name for a blog. The internet generation is generally daft, and also quite inept at the art of spelling. “Syllables” is a difficult word to spell. So no, this doesn’t work. However, the effort that the author put into this is commendable, and the fact that he chose it ahead of the original, much classier and easier to spell title, “Free Stuff”, shows a single-minded dedication to his craft.

The reason “Lost Syllables” was picked was because this blog is pretty much inspired by one song (as mentioned before), called “Oscar Acceptance Speech”. The phrase has been lifted from a lyric in the song, and the blog was initially created as a means of reviewing songs. But it’s unlikely that that will happen too often – changing moods, etc. And this entire (quite underwhelming) post has been created only to procrastinate the writing of the review of the song in question. In fact, this entire blog could probably use the writing of that review as a Godot-esque motif; a review which the author talks about obsessively, but it never quite appears. Let’s see how it goes.

Blog Title Rating: 1/10 (The very poetic character of the title deserves a high rating. However, since it’s been plagiarized, and that too without any real context, in addition to the fact that it uses a notoriously difficult word to spell, this title gets a score of only one – that too out of sympathy. Try harder.)

What is Lost Syllables?

I’m a big fan of fruit juice, fresh or otherwise. I like all flavours bar none. Actually, that’s not true. The juice production company that I’m generally loyal to, called Real, manufactures tomato juice as well. Tomato is the prime ingredient in my most hated thing in the whole world, which is ketchup, so I detest tomatoes too by association. I don’t even understand why Real produces these godforsaken juice boxes. I mean, yes, technically (or scientifically or whatever), tomatoes are considered fruit. But come on, who are we kidding? They’re really not. I love this thing called fruit cream as well, which is basically a bunch of fruits floating around in a bowl of cream, which can be whipped, but not necessarily. Anyway, if I ever come across a fucking tomato in my fruit cream, I swear to god I will lose the fucking plot, and there will be hell to pay for the chef and anyone else who happens to be in close proximity.

Moving on, I happen to be a ‘writer’ (which is basically a euphemism for a person who does nothing, and excels at the existentialist idea of profound procrastination). I tend to write a lot of reviews (among other things) – of bands, albums, gigs, books, plays, films, food, etc. But that dreaded bitch, aka word count, in addition to house rules at publications, deadlines, and general sluggishness, means that a lot of stuff that I want to write usually gets dumped, slashed, or never written.

This page is just an attempt to rectify that. It’s a place where I will just review (I use the term 'review' loosely for convenience) whatever I feel like. For the sake of consistency (and also because not many publications want these), I think I’ll probably start off with song reviews. The inspiration behind it is this mammoth track called Oscar Acceptance Speech by Oceansize (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzDNPVGVBXw – I don’t know how to embed videos and stuff yet), which reminds me of mixed fruit juice, but I’ll get to that later. Basically, I’ve sort of developed a fetish for comparing music with food in my reviews in the past year or so, but these usually get rejected flat out. Well, in your face publications and a big fuck you, because there’s no rejections here on my own blog, are there?

Also, it’s my own personal dustbin. A lot of what I write tends to be trash, and I wouldn’t want any of it to be read in the context of polished writing or journalism or anything of the sort. The context here is just impulsive one-draft ‘blog writing’ (ugh) with no revisions. And there’s a very good chance that this will be the only post on this blog. I’ve started four different blogs in the past, each with a single introductory post, before binning them. It’s just initial enthusiasm that’s made me go through the effort of registering a blog, choosing a name, design, etc. FYI, I just so happen to be a not very big fan of blogs in general. So there’s bound to be lots of hypocrisy here if I do sustain it.