Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I Know You Are But What Am I?

A few days ago, my phone stopped working on a whim. The last time that happened to me, I rushed to the friendly neighbourhood phone- and utilities shop and bought the cheapest phone they had, called the Samsung Guru, which had a photo of Aamir Khan on the box and cost me a grand total of Rs. 990. This time, I was travelling so it was far worse. Turns out my phone battery, barely over a year old, had crashed. So I’ve had to buy a new battery for a shocking 1300 bucks, and it’s not even a Duracell.

But this is not a rant about inflation nor the increasing dependence on expensive technology because it’s something I accept as a part of modern life. It’s useful and I love it. And, this isn’t even about how far behind cell phone battery technology is lagging when placed against cell phone technology. You have twenty thousand things on your phone, but the battery will only last you like a handful of hours. No.

Instead, this time I’m off on SIM cards. I managed to acquire a spare phone, but my SIM card, which has been chopped to half its size, wouldn’t work on that phone. I miss those simpler days when all SIM cards were the same size. Back then, if your phone stopped working, you could very easily pick up an old phone lying around and slot the SIM into the replacement phone. Most of your contacts also stayed intact, since they were saved on the card itself. Today, in an era of iPhone 6 and Samsung S7 and HTC 8+, you have like your full-sized SIM, a mini-SIM, a micro SIM, a nano SIM. They all serve exactly the same purpose, but different phones developed by different companies require a different-sized SIM for it to work. To that, I only have one question: Why?

Isn’t technology supposed to make everything easier to use? Is it like an ego battle between techies that makes them develop their own unique specifications for a SIM card? They’re already doing it with chargers and I’ve learnt to accept that – in my home itself, my iPod charger doesn’t work on the iPad, so if one of them breaks or gets lost, that’s a heavy investment. I get that – capitalism is great and evil and corporations want to maximize profits this way. But readjusting the size of the SIM card and cutting it to fit the design of the phone is a free process. What is the end game here?

I have a Samsung today; what if I buy an iPhone tomorrow? Then I’ll have to go to a bloody Vodafone outlet, deal with their call centre specialists in person, show them all kinds of identification to prove that I am, in fact, me, and get a new SIM card. If a week later that phone packs up on me and I have to get it fixed and use the older Samsung for a few days, then I have to repeat the entire process, and once it gets fixed I’ll have to repeat the whole thing all over again.

Do phone manufacturers have some kind of a tie-up with network and service providers? Did Vodafone make a call on their crackling network and say: “Hey Apple Tim, we have to justify the salary of all these fucking idiots we’ve hired to work at our service centres so why don’t you send a few people our way and we’ll give you a free caller tune for Rs. 35 a month?”

Before I’m shot down, I do realize that you have these cool little SIM card adapter-type things that you can buy at any shop that sells recharge coupons and phone covers and chargers and stuff, that too for like anywhere between 30 and 50 bucks which, compared to multiple trips to a Vodafone service centre, is pretty much the greatest deal imaginable, even if they often don’t work. (They’re a small attachment to your SIM, making it compatible with devices that support a different-sized SIM.)


Basically, you get a regular-sized SIM card, then you get it sliced in half, then you buy an adapter to make your SIM card bigger again. I don’t get it?  

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